Monday, August 09, 2010

Facebook brought my family together

This is hard to admit because I have such an extreme love hate with facebook. From a personal standpoint--I love it for business.
I love and hate that it's connected me with my past. I get dragged kicking and screaming into acknowledging it all but in the end. I deal. And it's okay, and even a tad exciting or at least fun to make fun of.
I'm sometimes a detached "live in the now" (where I am HAPPY) kinda person so I don't care to look back that often. And I also am annoyed by long threads of facebook arguing and it's outlet for sociopaths, but I digress....

When I was 8 my father died suddenly, but before he died I got more than a dose of what lied beneath in his family structure.
He moved us far away for various circumstances and were only a tightly knit 4, but we had some encounters and visits with the Bellanti's and he had a VERY heavy heart when it came to his mother and the fallout of her decisions. I must protect us all by not going into detail but if you can think of every painful dysfunctional aspect of human relationships, we got it covered. violent death. crime. abuse. mystery. family biz probs. abadonments, more death...check. There's a taste.

Death has been constant, untimely re-occuring theme. We are all far apart. Many of us live rurally. There are misunderstandings, grudges, spiritual differences, memory differentiations, all that crap. Everyone is confused or broken in some way by the history.

ENTER facebook.
We got all friended ( I was so nervous) and we decided to let it all go and start over from the NOW and figure it out.
My fathers sister and brother put it all together.
You may have seen my horrific bathing suit tags on facebook post Lake of the Ozarks Missouri gathering. Every morning I twitch worrying that there will be more.
It WAS inspiring and I feel like I belong to something bigger. I feel like we can all decide that we don;t have to drag the past around and that we can go from here instead. It is up to us. None of that crap was our faults.

My mother has a lovely family but they have always smiled and said everything is fine and perfect.
The Bellanti's put it ALL out there and I had a blast with them. I saw pictures I had never seen and all these beautiful children who share my blood.
There was lots of beer and smoking and cursing and crying and singing. These people can SING.
I didn't know I needed that but I did.

The lesson was damn you facebook! You made me brave.


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